Old Photograph

Raye needed to get away from the bustle of people. She needed to get away so bad that she left the safety of flat ground and climbed up onto the cliffs.

She rubbed her stinging palms against her rough jeans with a frustrated hiss. She was always so freaking clumsy!

Shaking her colourful head, she rummaged through the pockets of her loose jacket until her search proved fruitful and her hand emerged clutching a dog-eared photograph.

The photograph was of a family of five. A young woman, a young man and three beautiful babies. The man and woman smiling, cuddled together. The woman was holding the baby with the darkest hair and the man cradling the other two.

"Yume wa nozomu koto
nemuri no naka
kanashimi mo kieru
inori tsuzukereba," she sang out softly, as if singing a lullaby to the picture.

"Itsuka wa kanarazu
niji ga hohoemu yo
tatoe tsurai toki mo
shinjite ireba
yume wa kanau mono."

The tears welling in her eyes fell as her shoulders began to shake. "I'm sorry. I'm so sorry," she sobbed, curling her arms around herself.

(was this wat you wanted me to join?)

Jami was out for a stroll...fly? she needed to get away somewhere and really think over her self. She had thought about the mountains but maybe the place where so much had happened was OK to start. As she made her way around the bottom near the water she followed the leveled out rock. The harsh waters were already eroding them back to sharp points slowly. Jami went to one of the first rocks out of the blown up section near the center. There was one large rock, that still seemed to have a reddish tint to it, and an adjacent one, one Jami may have lent on, which was the same.

The dark waters were rich in horrific memory. Un-able to take anymore Jami zoomed up to the top of the cliff. Approaching it she hear a voice singing. She went faster when she heard sobs. Swiftly but quietly Jami came up toRaye on the ground. She snuck a peak at the photo and suddenly felt sad, she moved closer behind raye and squatted down. She placed a hand on Rayes head and stroked her hair.

"Are you alright Raye?" Jami opened her arms in case the woman needed a hug and lite her finger with a soft white glow. One that was meant to numb and warm the mind, just in-case.

Raye jumped when she heard a voice and began scrubbing at her face fiercely, trying to remove all evidence of ever crying. "Y-yeah, I'm fine," she lied pathetically, curling her arms tighter around herself and looking anywhere but at the girl next to her.

A self-loathing smirk darkened her features. "That's twice now you've seen me cry. I must seem so pathetic." After so many years of such hard luck, Raye had come to think of crying in front of others as being pathetic. Crying should have been done when you're alone. And even then not very often.

Well, that flew out the window, she thought cynically. I've already cried three times here.

"You, uh, come up here to enjoy the scenery?" she asked, waving outwards with the hand holding the photograph. She drew it back as soon as she realised the picture was there. She couldn't lose that. It was the only family photograph besides the pack photo she had taken when she left.

Her finger traced the side of the man's face softly and then moved to stroke along one of the babies chubby arms. "I miss them," she admitted with a heavy sigh.

Jami shook her head slightly not completely believing she was fine. Jami kept on stoking the multi coloured hair and replied, "Your not pathetic, I have lost count about the count i have cried here. I hate seeming weak to tobe honest, but sometimes you just, have to." Jami felt like she really knew how Raye felt, but she couldn't be sure. Jami smiled at Raye's attempt to change the subject but Jami wasn't going to let that happen. "Actually I came to find myself a bit. This is where Owen got hurt because of me. I was just at the bottom seeing all our blood stains before I came up here..."

Jami trailed off that the end, suddenly feeling empty again. Jami quickly moved her eyes to the photo again, understanding it was her family. "They look like you." was all Jami could say, and in a very quiet tone as well. Jami was feeling a bit sick, thinking of her unfortunate night on the cliff again.

"Yeah, well, crying is a sign of weakness for us animals." And that's what she was. She was just an animal that could appear as a human. "And, trust me, you don't want to appear weak at any costs," she chuckled with bitter humour. How many times had Jinn gotten the better of her because she had cried? Too many to count.

When she left her pack she was a weak, tearful mess. Thirty years later, she was a weak, tearful mess that had been given a job that she couldn't do. By the time she was a hundred, she had completely closed herself off. She was considered one of the best at the job. She was called on for all the big hunts. Everyone knew her. Everyone knew the Sheep.

But then she settled down. She found a pack that would accept her. She fell in love. She mated and had children. She handed in her resignation...

And now what? She clenched her fists, fingers creasing the photograph. What was she now? She wasn't a hunter. She wasn't in a pack. She didn't have a mate. She didn't have pups... What am I now? Am I back to being that pathetic mess I was a hundred years ago?

She listened to the other girls answer of her question and nodded a little. There was nothing she could say to that. She wasn't good with comforting others. She wasn't good with helping in general. What she was good for was flirting and fighting and killing. That was all. A flirtatious killing machine. She'd been reared as such for over a hundred years.

"They're my pups. And their father," she added as an afterthought. She hadn't been like her mother - who had birthed pups at a tender age of five. She hadn't had pups that would have matured at very nearly the same time. She had waited. She was a hundred and sixty one when she had her first litter of pups. "It's their birthday today," she divulged in a soft whisper. "Their first."

"It's a sign of weakness for most everyone. You just have to get used to the fact, it's as natural as breathing for a mammal." Jami thought about the first time she cried here. She had had quite a long day, from helping Rendaz with his hovercraft to kissing Aesis then finally meeting Owen and Alicia at dinner. After she had been fine for a bit but ended up running into a sitting room Owen had been sleeping in and crying all over his one and only shirt.

The another time was in the theatre and meeting professor of Art, Yaser.

Jami had a feeling something wasn't right with their birthday, espechailly since she was here alone. "Mind my asking what happened?" She tried to pull Raye in for a hug. Jami may be young compared to this woman, but Jami's experiences made her a bit older probably in her late twenties if you looked at it that way. She had visited every state in the U.S and lived a quite a bit in a few European countries.

She shook her head softly. "I used to cry a lot. Before I was a hunter and for a little while in the beginning of my career. It nearly cost me my life," she sighed roughly. "Showing weakness when you're a hunter is like waving a flag announcing you're an easy kill." She hadn't waved that flag in a long while. "Though, my name sorta waved its own flag. Why did they decide to give me the name Sheep?" she chuckled. "You don't think of a fierce snarling wolf when you hear the word sheep, do you? You think of dinner."

Raye leaned into the younger girls embrace and sighed. "I've been struggling with a darker side of myself since I witnessed my girlfriends death. That got worse when I killed my best friend. Sometimes that darker side of me - I call it The Wolf like its some sentient being living inside of me, but its not - takes over. I don't remember what happens when that part of me takes over most of the time. And it's a dangerous thing. It kills anything it can get to - no matter who they are. Lover, friend, family."

She ran her tongue over her lower lip as a tear slid down her cheek. "About six months ago, Chaye was killed. The Wolf went mad. The pups were in the apartment..." She choked on the rest of her words, tears falling in a torrent.

Jami wasn't exactly sure what to say about the whole wolf thing. It was scary that she couldn't remember or control herself, but wasn't that of from what she had herself. As Raye kept talking Jami was slowly realizing what had happened, and Raye confirmed it.

Jami pressed her lips to Rayes hair and closed her eyes. She sighed and then lifted her head to look into Raye's eye's. "I hope they are at peace." what else could she say, saying sorry wouldn't do anything, it wasn't Jami''s fault and she couldn't tell Raye everything was okay. It was really a logical response. "I am a bit the same as you. I was born with a twin demon, who lives in my body. She comes when I am to emotionally upset, but i mean like really off. Last time it happened, i was here and Leon had shown me an image of my village burning to set me off. Owen had to knock me out and by the time i was conscience, Owen was falling off the cliff..."

Jami remembered how she had named her demon. It was a stupid name and fit ironically. Perfect.

A soft smile graced her lips. "Thank you for not saying sorry." She hated it when people said sorry for things they could never had any part of. People saying sorry for her losing family and friends really set her on edge. "They're as at peace as they can be in this day and age. The humans have done a lot to anger Mother recently. I don't know if she accepted them. We took them out into the wild - there was no point burying them in a human cemetery - sang our song and departed. It's all we can do."

Raye listened and nodded along. "We all have our demons to fight; its a shame some of us here mean that literally. The Wolf usually takes over in times of great anger and sadness. Or when someone is stupid enough to pull a sudden movement when I'm not in the hunter persona." She shook her head with a roll of her eyes. "I have too many mes. The Wolf, the mask, the hunter. Do I even know the real me?" It sounded rhetorical - but she really was asking herself. She hid behind the mask. She hid and played the mask so well that sometimes she questioned who she really was.

She cringed at the mention of fire but she didn't comment. So that's why Princess was in crutches... She had nothing to say to the situation. Most of the time Raye stayed out of other peoples business. She would pretend their personal situations didn't exist. Go about as normal.

But soon she was alight with curiosity. "What's it like living in a village? I've never lived in one. I was in a pack that moved around the Dakota wilds when I was young and then I travelled around. I didn't stay anywhere for long. And when I finally did settle, it was a large city. I've never known the life of a village." The Jinn had moved from a pack of six to a city of population 1.5million. There were no in between stages.

Jami gave a small smile and nodded a little. "I'm not, i tell the truth. It is a shame, and i hope they are okay where ever they may be." It was completely true. That may have been one thing Jami loved about her emotions. When something happened to someone else, it was non of her business. She was never good with family ties since her exile any way. Only the ties or romance and the need for love she so desperately needed. What a mess.

"Demon's suck, that's why I called mine Petunia."

Jami let go of Raye and sat cross legged on the grass facing her. Jami placed her hands in her lap and to a moment to think. "Well, it is a place not near many other's, at least mine wasn't. We knew basically everyone because of it. So if something happened, everyone was bound to know. I haven't been there in almost 4 years now. I was exiled when I was about thirteen, i am turning 17 , January 13." Jami thought about her mother and how she needed to write soon.

Her mother and her relationship was quite strained now a days. Only an occasional letter, but always one on Christmas or new years. Ostentina had never gotten over the fact that her husband was gone, nor out in the wild somewhere, or dead. Jami however had gotten over it through all the extra work her mother had unmeaning push upon her.

A snort escaped her. "Petunia?" What an unpleasant name...

Her head cocked to the side as she listened. "That sounds like it could be annoying at times. But it also sounds nice. Pack-life was like that. If one of us knew something, we all did." A small frown marred her face in remembrance of one particular event. "Well, most of the time..."

"Seventeen? Geez, you're so young. You've got your whole life ahead of you yet. Back when I was seventeen I was still saving Don from hinkypunks; playing rough-n-tumble with Nathaniel and watching Joe practise her magic. Man, I wish I were seventeen again. Life's so much more simple."

Her mind drifted and she wondered idly what life would have been like if she had never left her pack. She wouldn't be a hunter. No scars to hide. She'd still have family. Unless there was another forest fire they got caught in... She wouldn't know Kendo. She wouldnt have met Ix or Zal. Or Fenris or Tiffany or Naomi or Harry or Chaye. "I wouldn't have pups..." she breathed.

Jami chuckled, "Yeah, don't ask haha""

Jami bit her lip, yeah a whole life full of who knows what crap. It may be a simple life, but it still has its complications. there's relationships, hormones, wanting to eat a lot, worrying your anorexic even though you eat a lot, etc...

At the random comment Jami's thought stopped, "Why wouldn't you have pups?"

(sorry its short writers block >.>)

She shook her head with an amused smile. "If you named your demon Petunia, I worry for any children you have. I hear Hydrangea is a good name for little girls, ne?"

Her eyes flickered upwards, confusion shining in them. "Huh? Oh..." They widened in realisation. "I said that out loud? I gotta work on keeping my thoughts in my head instead of on my tongue. Bad habit. When I lived alone for a while, I started talking to myself to give myself some company. The habit dragged, even though I've been living with people for twenty years. Well, up until six months ago."

Her eyes drifted out to sea. She stayed silent for a while but eventually her lips did part. "My mind drifted. I was just thinking about what would have happened if I didn't leave Dakota after the fire."

Jami bit her lip at the name, "I think my children's names will be fine, Her's is what it is on purpose."

The reambling about talking to herself gave Jami slight interest but just like most teens, she just wanted an answer, not a back story. in the scilence, jami move so she sat next to raye and looked at the ocean as well. "Oh."


Jami's mind drifted to when she was younger. What would have happened if she never met Mr. Henry and his son Jr.She wouldn't be here, most likely. The kind man and his foolish son. that foolish ignorant, prejudice son... Her thoughts got angrier, but she calmed her physical appearance.

"I would not be here if it wasn't for my ex and his father." Not that she minded being here, she loved the place. But how would village life have been and what if she hadn't had to go around learning things the hard way.

A little chuckle passed her lips. "I've no doubt they will be."

She hummed in acknowledgement but didnt move an inch. She didnt ask questions like many other people would. If the girl wanted to share, she would have offered the information up. Raye wouldn't go digging.

She stayed like that for nearly ten minutes, staring out at the view, taking in the soft breeze and the fresh scents of nature that reminded her of home. A frown pulled at her lips. Home? Did she just refer to Dakota as home? It hadn't been home in a hundred and thirty years. It wasn't home... It was where her pack had lived. It was her birthplace and the place of her death. Nothing more.

"I wouldn't be here if my mate hadn't died." A sigh heaved her shoulders up and down. "No, it goes back further than that. I wouldn't be here if my sister hadn't died in that forest fire. I'd still be in Dakota with my pack." She wouldn't slip and call it home again. After all, she had no home.

Jami was starting to feel depressed again so she tried thinking of her upcoming birthday instead of other things in the silence. She didn't want to disturb Raye's thoughts. As Raye spoke Jami turned her attention back, and she struggled to not ask anymore. It wasn't her business but, it sounded so interesting. "Mind my asking about your pack?"


Her nails dug into the earth and pulled up a patch of grass and dirt. She started picking it apart, not taking her eyes of Raye though.

She hummed quietly. "My pack back in Dakota? It was... I had mixed feelings about it."

She began drumming her fingers against her kneecap. "I was the eldest of four pups in my parents first litter. My mother was a Grey Wolf and my father an Eastern Timber Wolf. All of us pups looked like Grey Wolves so when asked what breed we are, we just answer with that - even through we're technically mutts."

Her tongue darted over her lower lips. "The second eldest in my litter was Nathaniel. He acted as his name suggest - thought he was God's gift to the world. He was cocky and stupid but he was always up for a good laugh. He and I were the reigning kings of pranks."

"The next in the litter was my sister Joe. She was the magic-inclined one. She was always practising how to control fire. She took after our mom. She was so strict. If we didn't do things the way we were meant to she was always there to give us an earful." A sad smile quirked her lips. "She died in a fire back when we were twenty-two. The forest fire only took her. The rest of us were devastated. Life was missing something without her constantly around to nag and scold us."

Her smile brightened. "And the last was Spyridon. He never grew as old as the rest of us did. We all aged to our twenties. He was stuck as a twelve year old. And he was such a child in personality, too." A laugh bubbled up. "He was always wandering away. I swear, in all the years I knew him, I saved him from hinkypunks more times than I called him by his name." She ran her hand through her hair, isolating a long grey hair that had avoided the dye and twirling it idly around her fingers. "Nate and I were constantly picking on him. We were the definition of mean older siblings."

Her eyes slid to Jami. "I was the outcast. I couldn't perform magic like the rest of them could. I was the weak link in the pack. All of them treated me differently. Even sweet little Spyridon. I finally mustered up the courage to leave after Joe's death. I was with her when she started the forest fire and if I had magic ability I might have been able to stop the fire..."

She shook her head softly. "It was truly a wonderful pack, though. it was a hell of a lot better than my Kobe pack."

The story was in interesting one. Jami wish she could say more in response but no thoughts came to mind. Another question came though. "Was that much worse? I found living on my own with most pro's, but I gained a lot of con's. Having to suddenly find out how things worked in a basically new world was hard for a 13 year old. The goal was to get as far away from home as possible. No point in sticking around when they don't want you."

That day was gross in her thoughts. The blood then fire and then distressed, angry faces all looking at her, throwing things and yelling at her. Her mother staring, quite and scared of her own daughter.

"I wasn't respected much at all in that pack - even when I became alpha. I tore each and everyone one of them down to size and forced them into submission, though. I'm a dominant female - I won't let my beta or omega try and overthrow me."

Her lips parted over her teeth in a small smile. "I guess, it wasn't all bad. I was best friends with Naomi - the beta's mate. She was wonderful. Very soft-spoken, lazy like me, sweet and beautiful. She was like a caring older sister. Even though she's a hundred years my junior." Her smile dropped. "Her mate - Fenris - was a different story altogether. He hated me right from when we first met in the Kendo hall. He warmed up to me a little when I became alpha female but it was still there. I could see it every time he met my eyes."

"The twins - Tiffany and Harry - weren't close with me. They were wary. They and Fenris wanted to kill me as soon as they met me. I was a Lone Wolf that meant nothing to them except a good hunt. Those two were the ones that really fought back when I became alpha. I even spared Tiffany's pups." A light sneer pulled at her lips at the mention of the offspring.

"And finally, there was Chaye. Alpha male. My mate. Father of my children. Father of Tiffany's children. I loved him, truly I did. He was abusive, though." She moved to pull her shirt up, turning her back to the younger girl. From the plethora of scars on the skin, one was much larger than the others, spanning the entire length of her back and disappearing into her jeans. "Most of those scars were his doing. The largest one was made with his katana. He got a little too into a fight and reached for the blades." She dropped the shirt but didn't turn back to face the girl.

"...I fit in with that pack less than I fit in with my first."

She made a quiet noise in the back of her throat. "It's hard for anyone - thirteen or no. I was twenty three when I threw myself out into the world and even now I find myself lost at times. I don't think anyone will ever find out everything there is to know about how to survive." A breathy chuckle breeched the air. "It's not home if you want to get away from it," she whispered.

Jami was once again speechless. both of them had hard times, Jami thought her's have been difficult compared to most, but now hearing Raye's story, one that's spanned over years and years, her little short life seemed easy. Th woman seemed to be experienced, because she was. Though seemingly the experiences were bad. Jami thought upon her struggles and wanted to share, letting Raye know she had been through bad times as well, but she had no clue if it would help. Jami would probably end up distant anyway.

The scars she had seen were ones a bit more sever but not to unlike her own. She was just lucky enough they were mostly healed. You couldn't see them or feel them at least. The thought of her father's raking claws was quickly pushed away. "I think we are a bit alike, yet very different."

Raye hummed as she fell backwards, landing on her back with a thump and staring up at the sky. "I find that if you look close enough, you can find similarities with everyone."

A snort passed her at a sudden thought. "Y'know, if there was someone like me in almost every way, I'd be the first to run and hide." A grin pulled at her lips. "The world can barely keep up with me. If there were two of us running around, it'd surely end."

Jami watch the woman laying in the grass with a hidden smile. "Their basically are two of me, and we definitely cause havoc. If their was two of you, we could be the supreme rulers of the Universe. " she giggled at her little fantasy. Jami ran her hand through the long grass and pulled up some of it at the roots. boring grass. She picked at the seeds and tossed them far.

The dirt under her nails was a bit annoying bu she'd worry about it later.

The Jinn snorted loudly. "I'd have to have some sort of compassion for people to be supreme ruler. I think I'll pass on that title. Just Raye'll do me." Raye the Supreme Ruler... Nah, didn't sound catchy at all.

Raye stared at a wilted daisy not too far from her for a minute before reaching out and plucking it from the ground. She held it above her head, picking each wilted petal slowly.

"Besides, the world's gone to the dogs as it is. It doesn't need me screwing it up any further." She crushed the daisy in her palm and stared at her closed fist.

"And, trust me, I'd screw it up some way or another." Her hand relaxed and she watched the crushed daisy catch in the breeze, floating away.

Jami bit her lip. Raye did seem to move to the bad side of things quickly. "Haven't we all?" her tone a bit dreamy. Things like pollution and global warming went off in Jami's mind.then smaller things like, how the tree that were supposed to help the earth were used to rebuild her village and how she had caused them to have to rebuild.

Jami rolled onto the ground next to Raye. Maybe she needed a hug. Jam tried to slip her arm over Raye for some comfort. Jami really had no clue if she was upset or just speaking like she was, because that's the way she is.

Raye sighed with a little nod. Haven't we all indeed... You could sit on your arse doing nothing and somehow you'd be helping with destroying the world.

The Jinn returned the hug and sighed again, resting her head on the girl's shoulder. She felt pathetic and whiny.

"...I'm not usually this depressed. Today's just not a good day."