Another Chapter

"Ther are no sources." she let her tone drop now and it showed her wariness. She had searched so much for an answer. The results an obvious lack of information.

At him bringing up her village comment her expression further deepened. She didn't mind sharing though. "The first time my demon got out. I was working at the gas station. I was told to weld a tank to the ground and, I lost control of the flame. The village caught on fire. I was unharmed in the sense of burns, but she got out when I was knocked out. We killed a lot of people... I woke up and my mother had told me I was like Him. They started to attack me and I ran..." Jami rubbed her arms and exiled a single thick breath in the cold.

He nodded slowly. Yes, surely she had thought of that already. She seemed bright enough to have exhausted all the options; he just wanted to make sure.

As he listened, Richard folded his hands and sighed quietly. There were no words of sympathy that wouldn't sound lame and inadequate for that kind of tragedy. He just remained silent for a moment, then frowned at her gesture. Of course, she would be uncomfortable in that temperature. How inconsiderate of him to not take that into account.
"Excuse me."
He rose from his chair and walked to the fireplace, squatting down to put a few pieces of firewood in.
"Jami" he said, prodding the timber into place with an iron poker. "How many times has she gotten out since then? Is there a pattern?"

Jami watched as Richard went over to the fire and added to it. She was grateful for the action. No doubt the room would heat up quickly. His question was a good one.

An adjustment was made as she turned in the seat to look in to the fire. "That I can remember, including the first time, 4 times. Two of which were here. Another was when I went to America. I was alone and had been able to lock my door so I let her tired before taking back control. That was the hardest I think. No one to help me."

As for a Pattern ?"I guess it is when ever she feels strong enough or when I am very emotional." She nodded her head to imply thus the whole emotion part tying into all her issues.

It was a good thing his back was turned towards Jami. As he watched the flames embrace the wood, a frightening expression was glued to his face as a conflict raged inside. A part of him squirmed and screamed for him to get away as far as inhumanly possible, while another part - his consciousness, his soul, perhaps - held him firmly in place. To get used to something, one has to be exposed to it, and the vampire forced himself to remain perfectly still as he stared right into the inferno.

It wasn't like Richard didn't live most of his life without the comfort of radiators, anyway.

When he got up and turned to face Jami, he looked normal again, save for his attempts to blink the light-caused blindness out of his eyes.
"Am I to understand," he said. "that to make her go back, she has to tire out?"
As he strolled slowly back to his seat, he wrung out his hands. How to handle this tactfully... In the end, he decided to wait with his suggestion until at least a bit later.

Jami watched patiently as Richard let his thoughts flow. She observed his figure against the flames. Was he comfortable by them? She wanted to join him but thoughts against it seeing as he was already turning around to face her again.

"I found a hard knock to my head works too." she wanted to let him know all the information. What did he now think of her now he knew she was so dangerous. Was he scared, worried, annoyed?

Strands of hair fell in front of her face, which she didn't bother to fix. She stopped rubbing her arms and took a deep breath. What could she do? She only hoped she didn't have to tell Owen she was dangerous. He was smart enough to realize it right? In a way she only just realized she wasn't safe.

He walked behind the desk, then hesitated, and stepped back.
"You should, ah, be careful with that." he said with a wince. "Brain damage is much, much easier to cause than movies would have you believe."
Richard approached Jami and rested a hand on the back of her chair. He leaned over slightly, close enough for it to be a protective gesture, and far enough not to intrude on her personal space.
"Listen" he said, then a small chuckle escaped his lips. "What I'm about to say might sound cheesy, but bear with me. Everything is going to be fine."
He paused and looked at her, the hint of amusement that was always present in his expression gone.
"You're amongst people who are strong and capable. Even if Petunia cannot be gotten rid of permanently, there will always be somebody around willing to help you put her back in place."
Well, he hoped that if a break-out happened, it would be during the day - that's for sure. He would really prefer to avoid having to be the one to face her.

Jami smiled, brain damage? Yeah that was an easy fix on her end. She could heal herself better than anyone else. I thought strayed to the caves back in the summer where she had accidently blown up the sir in front of her and knocked her head. She got a concussion, but it was gone by the end of the night...wait wasn't she in the infermary for something else? ...Oh yeah. Yuuki.

At the mention of cheesy she was prepared. Queen of Cheesy staring right at you! "Sir, I doubt she will be back anytime soon. Twice is enough for her in such this short period of time. But thank you for that." Jami stood up and upened her arms. She wanted a hug. He had been a help, even if he didn't really do much. It was nice to know people didn't hate her enough to not help.

He nodded in acknowledgement of her prediction. It was a relief. Sooner or later, though, it was bound to happen again, and by then... he'd better be prepared.
At her rising from the chair, he arched a brow in surprise and stepped back a little to make room. Oh... a hug. Right.

He embraced her gladly.

It felt nice, holding a living and breathing body in his arms, with no meaning or intent other than friendliness. As she was so close, he couldn't help taking a deeper whiff of her smell. All the time while they talked, a part of his mind was dedicated to examining it - the difference between it and a human's was... indescribable. But now that Jami was so close, he realized what it reminded him the most of - the dominating note was the scent of ozone. He smiled with satisfaction as he listened to her beating heart, pumping her life-giving blood through her veins. Wonder if it tasted like blood at all, if she smelled so inhuman...

Richard pushed her away lightly. "Well" he said, smiling. "I hope you're feeling a bit better, at least. Is there anything else you wanted to talk about?"

The embrace was comforting for sure. It was hard to come by that nowa days. In a way Jami took this hug differently than she should have, like most events in her life. She imagined Greer's arms around her rather than Richards. Something she could easily jumble in her head. She had been thinking of him after all. The factor of never being able to be held by your father again could do that.

As soon as Richard let go she sighed and looked at the floor. She didn't want to think of him. She'd hallucinate again. "Uh, not really..." What was she supposed to say now. She had thrown out her life's issues, so now what?

"I don't know what todo...""

"In my personal opinion," he said, returning to his seat. "for now, you should forget the past and focus on the present."
He sat down and steepled his fingers, resting his elbows on the desk. "Look at this room. All those things in here are much like memories in your head. Take Manny, for example."
He threw a thumb over his shoulder to point at the bear.
"A long, long time ago, it was a great threat to human and beast alike, killing whatever was unfortunate enough to be in its path. It was undefeatable, eluding all the hunters that went after it... until I decided to stand in its way."
He paused and turned in his chair to watch the fiery light from the fireplace reflecting in the animal's glass eyes.
"Don't think too highly of me for that. I was shaking like a leaf. Anybody would be..." He smiled wryly. "But I had to prove that I could do it. Prove it to myself, first and foremost."
He turned his gaze to Jami again. "And I did. It took a lot of effort and a lot of blood, but I did it. Manny was tamed, never again to be anything but decoration for my quarters. And I learned my lesson and moved on, having gained a companion as immortal as myself." Richard chuckled. "Said lesson being: don't go at a bear with nothing but your bare fists. Screw preserving the hide, take a gun. But anyway..."
He folded his hands again, giving the girl a firm look. "This is, I believe, how you should treat your past. It is nothing but the furnishing of your mind. You learn from it, and it will always accompany you wherever you go and whatever you do, but in the end - it's just decoration. It has no meaning other than what you allow it to have."
The vampire smiled calmly.
"How you deal with the present is what really matters. What is the present like to you, Jami?"

Jami sat down back in the chair as Richard went back to his. She felt maybe he would have a bunch of things to tell her and there was. The story about the bear to her showed courage, even if he had felt scared. If he didn't have courage he wouldn't have gone after it, let alone, to prove that he just could. A stare from her eyes to those in the bear was passed. It must have been a mighty beast.

The furnishing of her mind... Good words. It was a saying she'd store in her head, along with countless others. Though the present was an issues as well as her past. "Tough, yet good question sir. " Another big list piled up in her mind.

There was Owen, and Leon, and school and emotions, and Petunia. In her mind to be truthful, her past was creeping into her present. "I have to say it is a lot like my past. Boy problems and crazy emotions with a demon on top. Makes for a delicious death sandwich."

He raised an eyebrow, then chuckled. "That's a lovely choice of words."

Folding his hands again, he pondered over how much to say. From his point of view, the choices she should make were clear. But it was her life and the decisions that he would have made if he was her wouldn't necessarily be the best for Jami. She needed to reach her own conclusions and make her own path through life. All he could do was aid her on a miniscule fragment of the way.

"Is there any lesson you learned in your past that could apply today? Think well on this."
Maybe with some crafty questions he could guide her to come up with what he didn't dare say aloud.

Jami laughed a little as Richard took in her food idea or organization. It made sense in her mind. 2 boys she had to deal with, two slices of bread. Everything else was a bunch o baloney.
Thinking of lessons from her past would seem a lot easier than it is. Jami had learnt not to absorb another life force, but she couldn't do it anymore anyway. There was also not falling for jerks, well she kind of learnt for that... but she couldn't help that part.

Jami was going to shake her head but she did come up with something, "You should always try to help other's. Even if your scared of them, or have ill feelings."

That... wasn't exactly what he had in mind, and he wasn't sure what exactly led her to that conclusion. He smiled and nodded approvingly anyway.

"Yes. That is what takes real courage, not fighting a bear when you know you cannot die. To look to those who hurt you and offer a hand... not a fist." He looked absolutely serious as he said those words, but on the inside he smirked to his thoughts.
Richard sat back in his chair a bit, intertwining his fingers. "But let's speak of things more urgent. Say... is there anything that could make containing Petunia easier?" He cocked his head. "Taking into consideration what helped her release in previous instances?"
He was getting more obvious, but Jami had to understand what he had in mind, as much as she didn't want to accept it as the truth.

Urgent, got it. Jami had a feeling she had giving the wrong answer, even thought it was a perfectly fine one. It was for her at least. Containing Petunia was probably one of the hardest things Jami had ever done other than dealing with her hallucinations.
As far as Jami knew, there wasn't a way to keep petunia in if she really wanted out.

"Um she gets out when I'm over emotional. Like those emotions I told you about. I can keep them locked up for a bit but they show themselves every now and then. " Jami clamped her hands on the sides of her head in thought. "Not always though. The first time I think was an attempt on her part, the explosion probably made it easier."

Richard snapped his fingers. "Precisely." He looked to her with a resolute expression. "Disregard the explosions - it's not always that you can control if there will be one in your vicinity." A brief amusement passed through his face. "As ridiculous as that sounds. No."

Jami wasn't going to like this. She said pretty clearly that she wanted to have nothing to do with it. But for Richard, it was the most logical thing to do. You cannot deny your nature. Those who attempt to end up miserable or, simply put, dead.
He had seen it happen.
"But... regaining control over your emotions is something within reach." he said. "Isn't it?"

Jami let out a sound of relief. She got it this time then. She got he was trying to get he to figure things out on her own. It was hard though to find out what she was supposed to be doing. She had been a bit lost in his words but as he kept talking she got instantly annoyed.
"In reach? What do you mean, I can control them fine!" She ddn't need something else to help her. She wanted to do it on her own.

She clenched her fists and dropped them to her sides. No she couldn't get angry. If she got angry Richard was going to get a yelling. She breathed in long deep breaths through her nose, this was an easy was to control it. No doubt he had heard her frustration before.

Ouch. He could have handled that better. Something as fickle as a teenage girl's mood swings were hard to plan ahead for, but he could have handled that better for sure.
Richard remained silent for a while, allowing her to regain her composure.
"I'm sorry" he finally said. "I gathered that they were indeed a considerable issue. I must have overblown its proportions in my head."
He wasn't trying to mock her or get her to admit she was wrong, rather he was telling her what she wanted to hear to in order to help her cool down. He was willing to go much, much farther to prevent the demon from appearing right in his office.

In the time Richard gave Jami to calm down, she was still quite pissed off. She could take care of herself. She wasn't a weakling. She was quite fine on her own. She always had been! Nobody on the whole stupid earth could tell her she wasn't strong. Nobody.
"They are. I can handle it though." Her words were thick and harsh. She had really been offended, even though she knew this man didn't know her. She took some more deep breaths but she wasnt calm yet.

"I've lived with it my whole damn life. I have handled it since they came. I think I can deal with the build up break downs. What did you have in mind anyway. What could possibly help me?" She knew what could help. Who'd help a monster though? Who could possibly love a monster...

He bowed his head slightly. "I did not intend to suggest you weren't handling it fine. You are."
Richard knew very well that he was guilty of the sin of pride himself, but he never let it cloud his judgment like Jami did now. He suspected that she somehow needed to prove to herself she was capable of living on her own, maybe she was even affected by some silly feminist ideals that as a woman she wasn't allowed to show weakness or seek help, lest she be looked down upon.
He frowned slightly, glancing over the clearly agitated girl, sitting there opposite him.
"I didn't dare say it out loud, in case you would take offense, but it is too late for that now." He tapped his fingers on the desk. "In my opinion, you shouldn't fight who you are. Try to work with your nature, not against it."
He smiled wryly.
"That's still pretty ambiguous, isn't it? Fine. I think that you should try to seek out a partner."

So badly she wanted to tune him out. She knew she had to listen though. Richard was trying to help her. Even if she didn't like his advice. Not fight who she was? So embrace the inner cry baby monster girl. Uh uh no way. She looked down at the floor and whined a bit. "I don't want to find a partner for that. I want someone to love me for me, not because I needed them" Thoughts strayed to Owen of course.

She would never ask him to be with her for her issues. She started slightly shaking her head. "It wouldn't be worth anything."

Richard observed her, biting into his lower lip a bit. He couldn't possibly comprehend what she was going through, but he could guess - and what he guessed she felt was well deserving of his sympathy.
"The two are not exclusive." he said softly. "Every relationship is based on one person needing the other, isn't it? This is just... taking it one level higher."

He smiled faintly. "You shouldn't fight what is in your nature, but that doesn't mean you have to begrudgingly hang up a white flag. You should just find a way to follow it... and enjoy it. Two birds with one stone."

one level higher, hah, she wanted to laugh so badly. More like 2 levels more than that, if you count one level as a milestone. If Richard thought giving in and conforming to her kind was the right way to go, maybe she should try...

"How would I get Owen to agree... He is the only person I like here in anyway for this kind of thing. I dont think he'd want to do that. I thought about leaving for a while, but I keep changing my mind." She let herself look at him now.

He chuckled. Just like he thought - he, and anybody other than the two who was in possession of a pair of working eyes.

"I... don't think he would be inclined to refuse. At all." Richard looked into Jami's eyes, smiling warmly. They were both adorable in how insecure they were. Human or fairy, apparently there was no difference. A teenager is a teenager.
"Don't treat it as a favor you'd ask of him... I've seen the way he looks at you when you don't see it."

Her leaving was a worrying thought. While she did say she managed to fight back once without anybody's help, there was no saying what would happen the next time. One instance does not constitute a rule. Maybe with time, she will learn to control Petunia without a chance of failure - but the chances for that were bigger if she stayed.

Ah laughing, that's not cool. He wouldn't refuse? Sure he would, as far as she remembered, Owen only wanted to be friends. She wouldn't risk something like the field trip again. That was mentally unlivable. "The way he looks at... what? Never mind, we are just friends..." She was lieing to herself obviously, no need to get hurt.

Jami wished to be back in the infirmary now, but she really wanted Richards advice. Maybe she could stay a little longer. It wasn't like Richard was hurting her.