Better Idea

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The idea that her size could cause problems didn't cross Audi's mind that often. It rarely did. Right now, though, it was her primary concern, as the legs of her new 'friend' were much longer, and she seemed to be trying to make it hard for the ratgirl to keep up. Audi seemed to be moving out of sheer stubbornness, with every step being a challenge, her tail dragging limply behind her. Why was she so tired all of a sudden anyway...? Sighing heavily, she just trailed after Solasta, not really looking where they were headed as she hung her head low, keeping the purple tail within her line of sight and focusing her attention on its swaying to take her mind off her exhaustion. Her fur was still wet and to say that she felt chilly would be an understatement.

Oh well. Food soon.

Solasta didn’t pay much heed to the tiny creature that was now lagging behind. She ventured forth to the kitchens because she wanted to; this little itch had decided to accompany her. That was all.

As the destination was finally reached, the junkai at least checked behind her to see the miserable little creature trailing after her. Exhaling loudly, she snapped, loud and clear; “Hurry ap!” before barging straight into the room, double doors still swinging behind her.

She didn’t even pause to consider what options there were when she made a beeline towards the ice box, tearing it open to grab a handful of raw meat. Not as fresh as she preferred, but by the wise words of Solasta, she ‘canneh be assed’ hunting for something else. Nabbing a nearby wooden log, she trailed towards some fireplace, before dumping the fuel there and placing her hand firmly atop it. In a matter of seconds, fire sprouted from about her hand, growing and devouring the log ‘til it was a full, flickering flame.

She pulled her hand back, brusquely shaking it to rid of the fire like it were a mild irritation, glancing backwards towards the rest of the room to see if the ratthing had finally managed to catch up.

Audi jumped up, startled by the sudden yell, and she took a few steps faster in response... but soon she slowed down again, stopping just a bit past the threshold. Head still hanging pretty low, she peered at the goblin as she ran about, preparing some food, and she felt so grateful she could just pounce and hug her new friend so hard that she grunted; well, she could, if only she had any energy left to do that.

So instead, the ratgirl looked around slowly, and spotted a fruit bowl on a table near the center of the kitchen and her mouth started to water. A little snack as they waited would be perfect...! Audi made the effort to walk over there and reached for the bowl. But being as short as she was, it was just out of reach. She squinted, then bent her legs slightly, and bounced up to snatch a banana, temptingly sticking out of the bowl. Her chest landed on the edge of the table, feet dangling above the floor, and her fingers hooked at just about the end of the stem and then, oddly enough, the bowl started to slide towards her. Audi's eyes widened in surprise... and then she realized that it was the table tipping over.

With a squeak, Audi slipped down and fell to the floor. Following her, the bowl, a few pieces of cutlery and a condiments set shattered against the hard wood, shards, fruits, salt and pepper spilling all around. The table, thankfully, settled right back to how it was. Oh, boy. Audi made a mental note not to do that ever again. Next time she would get her skull caved in, for sure... She sighed deeply, leaning back and bracing her hands against the floor, then looked to Solasta and caught her eye. And slowly, a wide, goofy, "I-know-I-did-something-stupid" smile spread across her face.

He wasn't bored with the castle, as his way of walking suggested, but wasn't going to put any effort into sweetening up his facial blankly annoyed expression or the way he was walking. Getting lost at a faster pace wasn't really productive. The manticore was on the right floor for the kitchens but nobody was around to point him to them.

The manticore had received looks, but he just put it down to him being a new face in the castle.

So he wandered on, learning a bit more about the layout of the place but getting no further to his destination however the books he was lugging around were getting heavier each step. With a very exasperated 'huff' he lent against a wall and looked at his arms, expecting them to have turned to jelly. How far had he walked around the place this morning? another huff escaped him at his own idiocy, but was interrupted by the shattering of glass.

The scent of vinegar suggested this room beside him had something to do with the kitchen, and at that point he could have kicked himself. He'd passed this door twice. Crowley did wonder what had smashed and why people were in the kitchen to make things smash. How was he to maintain a clean environment or keep stock if every Tom, Dick and Harry was waltzing in to take what they liked? He walked into the swing door backwards due to full hands with a bored expression.

"And to who do I owe the pleasure?" he asked with slight sarcasm and a raised brow, looking at the mess of fruit, shattered glass and cutlery briefly before the students in the kitchen.

As the rat-thing entered the room, Solasta watched it from the corner of her eye, unable to deny that she was just the littlest bit interested. What did it usually eat anyway? Carrion? She should've been preparing the dinner, but she'd been distracted by the little creature's antics as it tried to clamber towards the bowl of fruit. Then a grin sparked across her face; a grin that predicted what was going to happen before it did.

She was not disappointed.
It started with a loud, obnoxious hoot of laughter that quickly descended into a witch-like cackle as she clutched at her stomach. It took a peculiar skill to be able to cause a complete wreck within moments of entering a room, and needless to say, Audi had it. Was that almost a sense of pride she felt...? Her laughing fit did not show any signs of stopping even with the entry of a third face.

Eventually, she had to admit defeat for the second time that day, as her laughs whittled down to a tiny chuckle. Then, as if with a sudden spurt of realisation, she abruptly raised her head, staring down at the new stranger. Just like that, in the snap of fingers, she'd gone from merriment to a pure murderous look. "Di 'eck are you wanting?! We are busy!" She waved at him; a shooing gesture.

At first her whiskers twitched a bit unsurely, but as unsettling as Solasta's particular brand of amusement was, laughter in this amount simply had to be contagious, and soon Audi was giggling as well. It was such a relief that the mess was a non-issue...!

But it seemed that her mirth had come prematurely as she heard the door swing open and turned her head quickly to see a human marching in. Her smile immediately dropping into a guilty frown, she stared at the newcomer, wondering just how much trouble she was in now. He was an unfamiliar face, but being a human and acting confident, he was sure to be important. Even the goblin had stpped her laughter... but then she almost roared at the human, causing Audi to jump up, startled, and give her a wide-eyed look of pure shock. How could she--?! But that was... a human! One of those lesser, winged ones, but more of a human than both the furred students combined, and then Solasta just--!

It seemed that the ratgirl's brain had short-circuited as she was sitting still on the cold floor, staring at Solasta with a mixture of confusion, dismay, and a slowly but surely blossoming admiration.

Upon entering the kitchen, he didn't expect to see two students. Much less breaking things and laughing at it. His Domain was public property now; Excellent. He didn't really care about the things being broken since he hadn't paid for them, and wouldn't. He did care about the mess though, and his first impressions of the monkey and the rat were: Uncouth, disorderly and destructive.

The next though was- Why was a rat in the kitchen? Why was a rat even that big? Crowley was sure if he saw it anywhere else he'd try to beat it to death with the closest heavy object, but it might be a student so that wasn't an option.

"Busy-" He scoffed slightly at the primate, incredulously "Take your business elsewhere" He said rolling his eyes, past caring what their motives were. Wreck somewhere else was almost tacked onto the end. It might get them away, he doubted it. If they weren't going to leave then he'd have to hold off preparing the dinner. He walked past the junkai without even a look, intending to put the books away in a cupboard.

What was the rat-thing freaking over? With a roll of her eyes that was far more over-the-top that the situation called for, she turned her attention to this-- this intruder. What right did he have to barge in here and tell them what to do? She took none too kindly to his - her grimace transformed into the sort of snarl that even the blind would cringe away from. As if it were a tedious chore rather than an actual conflict, she stood up slowly, feet patting against the uncomfortably cold floor, trudging towards the offending man until she was close - perhaps, a little too close for comfort.

It would've been fine (or mostly fine), if it weren't for the fact that his demeanour spoke to belittle her business. And one did not simply belittle someone like Solasta.

"I take my business whereva di'eck I feel like!" It was snapped, no, roared directly into the red-hair's face with little restraint at all. "And ne' ignorant little hu'mon idyaaat is ginna stap meh!" She snapped her head towards Audi.

"Ain't I right?"

Her fur was rising on its ends as she watched the scene unfold. Oh no, he wasn't impressed by the roar, and he gave a direct order... Now Solasta would surely hang her head and step back. Audi shifted slightly and starting pushing herself off the floor clumsily, when the junkai's booming voice thundered in the room again and the ratgirl's butt plopped to the ground. If her eyes widened any more, surely they'd pop out and roll across the floor. Such insolence! She wasn't afraid at all! But... she wasn't a ratfolk, Audi reminded herself, she was a goblin of some sort, she was not obliged to listen to humans at all.

It was when said goblin turned to her with the question that everything shattered.

A choice that felt oddly familiar to the one posed by Professor Odqura, really. A friend or a human? There it was an entirely hypothetical scenario, here it was real. Of course, Solasta was a very new friend and the man wasn't Audi's master, just some random almost-human... but still, rules were rules, how could she simply choose not to listen? Panic and doubt swirled in her head together with the goblin's words as the seconds stretched on...

But wait. What was she asking, exactly?

She was asking Audi to confirm whether she would let some human idiot stop her taking her business wherever she liked. It had nothing to do with the ratgirl at all, and, as she could see with her own eyes, it was very true. Suddenly everything was right again and Audi smiled widely, hooting a "Yeah!" as she raised her fist.

Human idiot? That was...him she was talking about? He smiled a little, raised his eyebrows and altogether his expression was one of 'You're kidding me'. Although he did see that two out of the three people in the kitchen were animals, and after he saw that it did make more sense, considering. Animals in the kitchen was irritating him now, quite a bit.

Crowley wasn't impressed by the shouting. Not at all, It was direct and brutish...but it made him feel safe in the assumption she was pretty harmless in any other way other than physical. It wasn't really a tactic he liked, shouting in people's faces wasn't really smart. Unless one wanted to give that impression, perhaps so nobody would suspect any forethought or cunning.

The purple monkey didn't seem to be acting though.

He kept looking unflinchingly on, but wanted to take a step back. This close was too close. Whilst she shouted in his face was making him severely uncomfortable he acted stoic and put up with it. Hopefully the rest of the pupils in the school weren't quite as...impolite as this thing.

A small hoot came from the rat, which he hadn't been paying attention to. More purple matters were forcing themselves to be dealt with first. So he shot it a flat look and then looked back to Solasta. One eyebrow raised, he finally spoke " You done yet? I have work to do"

Audi took far much more longer to respond than Solasta liked, but when she finally did cheer in support, her eyes snapped back towards Crowley in triumph. Only he didn't really seem all that intimidated.

Of course, it was only more of a reason to show him why he should be.

Gathering a glob of saliva in her mouth, she turned her head to spit on the floor, before stepping forth to close the distance one again. Her snort was contemptuous. "Done?" She inclined her head. "Jus' gettink started."

She raised her fist, ready to pummel a few bruises into his brain, before pausing, a better idea forming simultaneously with a cruel smirk. It was, what she saw, the least violent of the options, but she could do with a laugh. She reached to grab the man's upper arm, before turning her gaze towards the rat-thing. "I'll hold 'im still. Yo' go in for de kill."
It'd seemed enthusiastic enough about agreeing, anyway.

Satisfied, Audi sat with her knees to her chest, wrapping her arms around them. Tail flicked contentedly behind her as she watched the scene unfold. It was rather exciting - Solasta getting more and more threatening, the mysterious winged man still unflinching. Her shoulders hunched briefly at the look the man gave her, but as soon as he returned his attention to the goblin, Audi perked up and craned her neck curiously to not miss a thing. She was happy to observe.

But then it was the red gaze that pierced her again, bringing a chill that started when her eyes met hers then traveled down her spine, off to the end of her tail. Audi's mind blanked completely.

She wasn't thinking anything when she slowly, with visible effort, pushed herself off the floor, exhaustion and nerves trembling in her muscles. She took one step towards them, the scarlet of Solasta's eyes pulsing in her mind. She took another, it seemed to cloud all of her vision now, tinting the kitchen red, blurring everything. The goblin and the man, the furniture and the walls, they all swam in a haze, and then suddenly as if somebody had blown out a candle it all went black.

Audi's eyes rolled back in her head and she collapsed to the floor like a puppet with its strings cut, unconscious.

He couldn't look, but heard the noise as the saliva hit the floor. Perhaps sound effects alone were all the more disturbing. Crowley felt the sanctity of his kitchen being violated, with rats and primates and...monkey spit. As soon as these animals left he'd have to clean the place top-to-bottom.

Just getting started..he didn't know what that entailed at all. She'd proved she was course and ill mannered, but was she capable of- His string of thought was broken by Solasta's action of raising a fist. His mind raced, where was his nearest exit, the nearest throwable object was on the side 2 meters away. A pile of table spoons. His eyes, still staying slightly steadfast, were now darting around the room uncertainly. Taking in anything he could that could aid him-

And then His arm was grabbed, he ground his teeth and glowered at Solasta, but didn't retaliate in any way; Out of not wanting assaulted. She was grabbing him, he wasn't pleased to say the least. Crowley was getting more and more uncomfortable as each second passed.

He narrowed his eyes at the 'killing', but he didn't at all take it seriously. Although he did hear over the overspeaker about some deaths...He'd look into it- later. It seemed that the rat was going to do something, attack him? ... apparently not. Alarmed at the sudden falling over, but still secured by Solasta's arm, he couldn't do much. As it was a pupil, he felt obligation as a member of staff to help, or take it to someone that could.

Staring expectantly at Audi, she awaited her to spring at the man like she'd done so eagerly back at the fountain. Only that she wasn't. She was swaying and then--- oh. The junkai blinked at her fallen body, before slowly turning her head to blankly face Crowley. She twitched her nose in disdain. "Look what'chu did."

With a huff, she let go of his arm, trailing towards the fallen rat-thing, tutting and shaking her head at it like it were spilled milk. Well. What now? She crouched next to it, prodding its nose so that its head would turn to one side. Okay. So it was unconscious. Plan B.

She leaned forward, grasping the rodent underneath each armpit, before carefully propping it up. She mindfully dusted off a bit of the muck it'd gathered off the kitchen floor. Then, securing her hold, she violently shook it back and forth. "WAKE AP."
It was foolproof.

He rubbed his arm after the junkai let go, frowning after she was turned away. The manticore was relieved after his personal space wasn't being intruded on.

It was at that point he wished he read some first-aid things, rather than his usual genres and types- He'd know what to do in this point in time other than stand like a lemon whilst the girl throttled her companion around. If he did though- would he try to stop her? Probably not.

The girl seemed to use unnecessary force and he didn't want to be on the wrong end of it. Survival instinct dictated he stood back and watched with his thumbs in his front pockets. If the rat didn't wake within a minuit he would step in to prevent brain damage, but whilst this little fanfare was going on he stepped over pieces of fruit and puddles of vinegar, took a seat with a bored expression on his face.

"Maybe you should be a bit more gentle with it?" Crowley asked Solasta, gesturing to the ratgirl.

Crowley hadn't even finished the sentence before Solasta snapped at him.
"Maybe yo' should SHUDDAP."

She exhaled in a loud, bothersome manner before staring down at the rat-thing again. Its head lolled unconsciously in her hands, like some sort of broken doll. Well that was useless. Not as useless as this intruder though, who happened to be just happily sitting nearby doing nary all to help. Not that she needed help, but he was still being a lazy ass.

She stood up, her hands still looked under the thing's armpits, before turning towards the chef. Then, with little concern for the safety of the rat or the recipient, she shoved it towards him, expecting him to grab it.

"Well if yo' such a smarteh-ass, den why don'CHU do somet'ink about it!"
She sneered readily at him.

Her loss of consciousness had warning signs, yes, it was precedented with her vision swimming and fading as it became harder to think until she went out.

But when it came back, it came crashing like a freight train.

Audi's eyes snapped open and her whole body stiffened momentarily. Last thing she remembered, she had been walking; and now she was either falling or had a horned human rushing at her, some alien grip around her, she didn't know who was he, who was behind her, or where was the ground, she knew nothing. An ear-splitting screech of panic escaped her and she started kicking out her legs instinctively towards the attacker, flailing her arms with fingers curled into claws and tail whipping around like mad, essentially becoming a ball of frenzied struggle. Her heart thumped heavily in her chest at a speed that seemed almost impossible, breath coming up ragged, with desperate gasps. For all that mattered, she was fighting for her life.

"It's your rat deal with it yourse-" Was all he could manage before a rat was thrown at him and his words were cut off. He swore that his stomach flipped a little as the filthy animal got closer. As if the germs she had wherever were a maismatic and shock, he held his breath.

Crowley tried to get up from the chair as the ratgirl impacted he was forced back down into the seat hastily; Sending the chair onto two legs and the manticore flailing his arms. He didn't notice Audi's hand shoot out-

An audible crack could be heard, not too harsh or painful sounding but Crowley winced. He knew what that meant; All too tragically, in his opinion. He'd been keeping his horns as long as possible by treating them delicately however they just decayed in quality at the base over time once they 'died'.

Pressure Audi just applied in a flurry of movement caused the left horn to snap off, leaving behind half an inch still in his head and the rest on the floor, or in Audi's hand if she grabbed it. The manticore's head felt lighter on one side and he knew that his head was now only half adorned.

He shot the rat a murderous glare and bared his teeth at her in all the malice he could muster. Which was...quite a bit, he wasn't vain, not really- but his horns were something of a treasure to him and now one was gone.

Most of all he felt truly embarrassed and ashamed at the loss of his masculinity. The beginning of the end had begun- He'd look like some sort of woman for months now. This was all going through his head, in a second, but it was enough to distract him from the tipping chair. The seconds seemed to tick by at a tortuously slow rate. One chair bottom went in a pool of vinegar, slipped, the balance tipped and they were both falling

When the rat-thing started to freak out in her hands, Solasta was glad to get rid of it. This so much more responsible stranger was sure to handle it better than she ever could.

The following events occurred so quickly that Solasta didn't know what to keep track of. Frankly, it was everywhere; the thing was frantic and flailing, the man was inept and incapable of even holding it properly. There was a snap, suddenly he was missing a horn, and quickly afterwards, they somehow toppled backwards on the chair, landing on the floor in a heap. And all the junkai did during it all was stare, slightly dumbfounded.

"..."
She glanced left. Right. Then back at the two. Then she let out a loud scoff, stepping over some of the cluttered debris on the floor to approach them. She glowered down at them, yet a sort of smirk twitched at her lips as if she hadn't decided whether to be impatient or amused by them. "Di 'eck yo two doink? Stap dat," she huffed. Her foot nudged at the older man (although it was more comparable to a kick, really), awaiting him to scrape himself from the floor.

In her fitful struggling, she had barely registered her hand connecting with something and the grip from around her letting her go, but the threatening sneer on the man's face almost burned into her eyes. But suddenly, he was moving back, and now she was following him, somehow...?

Ah. She was falling.

With a weak whine, Audi landed on top of Crowley, twitching slightly in an attempt to get up, then stilling again as she found herself powerless. She froze, holding her breath, though her heart seemed to be making an attempt at beating its way out of her chest. She could feel his warmth, his breath, the beat of his heart, in her dizzy head it almost seemed she could smell him. And underneath the grayish brown fur covering her face, she felt a burning sort of warmth flush over her. Seconds dragged on.

She felt completely incapable of any movement at all.

But then, Solasta's voice came, and Audi's eyes snapped wide open. With a last ditch effort, she scrambled up and over the man quickly on all fours, not looking where she was placing her hands or feet. Her limbs shook with exhaustion. And it was either one of her arms giving up, or her stumbling over something, as soon she found herself falling forwards again. Her forehead bumped against the floor and the momentum sent her somersaulting to land on her back with a pained squeak.

Audi had had enough. That much was sure. She brought up her hands to cover her eyes and sighed, though it came out as more of a groan.

When the chair impacted on the ground, Crowley winced and bit his tongue in surprise pain as his wing and tail got trapped underneath it. Quickly forgotten about due to the weight on his chest and the feeling of paralysis that came with the memory it sparked within his head.

The physical paralysis of the venom, the hands he couldn't stop as his head swam met with the feeling of dread as he couldn't fight it. A cracked, ruined voice hissing 'Got you'. The manticore seemed to just freeze with his head off to the side, not even blinking or looking at anything, as he remembered things he desperately wanted to forget. It appeared like he was daydreaming if not for the slightly haunted expression.

At the kick he seemed to zone back to reality again. Crowley had never been so thankful of being assaulted. Although back in reality meant that his wing and tail were in pain and there was vinegar up his back. He sorted his scarf. Fallen horn and chair lay where it fell, the issues of vanity and tidiness seemingly forgotten.

He then immediately applied a stony face and got up quickly without looking where his had was going, managed to get a glass and vinegar in it. A glance was spared at it in disappointment but he then would try to get to the other side of the kitchen for something to stop the slight bleeding.

"Watch you feet" Crowley said, without the conviction of malice or spite; He was trying to act as he was before. Succeeding, unless one looked extra closely. Nothing happened he told himself, with adamance, Nothing.

It was a mess, really. On one hand, there was her faithful rat companion, who couldn't seem to totter two steps without tumbling all over again. Then there was the newly arrived redhead, of whom she already had a low opinion, looking just as much of a mess as he allowed the rat-thing to clamber over him. What had she been expecting anyway...?

"Why should I?" she countered, intended as a challenge to his authority more than anything else. Uncaring whether she recieved an answer or not, she strolled towards Audi, before crouching to her-- no, just above her level. It took but a single glance to force a scoff out of her mouth. "Yo' gonna lie moping on de floor?" She reached to prod the thing's nose. "Move it."

It was around that time that she may have been distracted by a particular object on the floor. That is, a very particular horn, from a very particular man. "Well hello..." She reached to grasp it, feeling its odd, twisting shape in her hands. She ran her finger across its edge; being one with an appreciation for bodily artefacts, her attention was momentarily distracted by this... something of a treasure.

What the heck just happened? He was some weird sort of a human; why would she feel that way...? She was beginning to take her plan to 'be more human' too seriously... there were certain limits... right?

Audi's hands slowly slid down from her face, her muscled too tired to keep her arms up in the air. When her nose was poked, she winced only slightly, and her head limply fell to the side as a weak moan escaped her lips. Yes, she just wanted to melt into the floor, remain rooted to it and never have to move again. Solasta could call it 'moping' all day long, if she wanted to. Although, when the goblin's interest was caught, she couldn't help her gaze snapping in her direction, the white of her healthy eye showing in a crescent moon as she tried her damn hardest to see what was it that the purple thing was holding without having to raise her head. But she couldn't. Torn between the restless curiosity of her mind and the complete powerlessness of her body, she let out a pitiful whine.

"Foood..." she said, pouting as she looked up at Solasta with moist, begging eyes. Briefly she glanced in the direction she thought the man was, but he was entirely out of her field of vision, so quickly she returned to looking at the more likely source of salvation.

Pulling the vinegar soaked shirt away from his back and rechecking his scarf was tied right, the manticore didn't really pay much attention to the girl's in the kitchen for a few seconds. Then he opened a window or two, to set free some of the the acidic smell. Vinegar wasn't something he was particularly fond of.

Masking a food's flavor was an insult to the work put into creating it- something that was strong enough to wash grime off old coins was not to be put on food.

His horn...that would be an issue no doubt. The one horned-ness at the event would look odd but if she took a fancy to it then he supposed he wouldn't be getting it back. No matter, for the ball he could get one of his old ones and tape it on and it would look the part.

Then Audi uttered, no near whined a word...

If Crowley were canine, his ears would have pricked up at that word; Food. He could do that, it was what he was being paid for after all. It was also not a bad thing to be paid for something that wasn't even -in his mind- really work.

Appearing desperate to serve though, was not what the manticore wanted in any case. It would practically be an invite to be taken advantage of, and he wasn't going to allow that to allow that; He'd wait to see if he was asked for it, and then offer to do something.

Her attention was lifted from the horn at the single word. Food. That's what they came in here for, wasn't it? The pitiful stare didn't exactly tug her heartstrings either. She huffed noisily, before snatching up a fallen apple from the floor. She reached to shove it in her mouth, more with the hopes of shutting her up than the desire to quell her hunger.

Whether she received it or not, she'd turn away regardless and return to her full height, scanning the kitchen. Her eyes passed over Crowley without thought, like his presence wasn't even worth considering. The thought that he could be a chef had not even crossed her mind.

She returned her attention to the fire she'd lit earlier. Dragging and dumping a few logs upon it to keep it alive and roaring, she looked towards the cupboards, eager to find actual, edible food. Despite her lengthy stay here, the kitchen was not familiar territory. It was rare that she'd eat the food provided by the castle, and even rarer that she'd make it herself. Fresh livestock was just that much better.

She flung open the cupboards with enough force so that the doors banged loudly to either side. Condiments. Tools. Cleaning supplies. Everything was so useless.
Then the fridge. She opened it, and there it was, basking in its own sort of glory. An entire turkey, large enough so that it hardly fit among the shelves. With a smirk, she dragged it out, before hoisting it up on display to the others. "Aaai, dis a fine one, ain't it?"